The non-blogworthy parts of Homecoming were good (fabulous pictures here). It was energizing to be back in the Commonwealth: we hit the 'Burg during the 100 minutes it experiences autumn and it was pretty fantastic. Also it was awesome to be funny again! VA appreciates my carefully-timed sarcastic delivery. My first parade was super fun, my first tailgate was kickass, and W&M destroyed "The Original Plan B" in a stunning victory. Our fight song was played like a billion times (Diana: "We have a fight song?" HERE is the fight song). Someone gave me a sickness and I swear upon all that is holy on this earth if it is swine flu I will cut a bitch. Overall, seriously good times.
I also managed to spend most of my weekend wavering between emotional dipoles. The College continues to exist without me, which is sobering. Appreciating my new relationship with campus and the alumni body was exhilarating. Seeing my W&M comrades was by turns wonderful and heartbreaking ... wherein lies the rub.
So many 09ers were coming back to campus that I finally decided yes, I would go. Reservations be damned, I miss my friends and want to hear about their lives outside of status updates. At first it was easy as I checked in with old friends - Diana and I will never run out of things to talk about, Amanda and I quickly fell into old comfortable habits. Doug is Doug is Doug, and proof that some people will be in my life forever. And dinner with the Tripod was especially awesome: we don't spend every moment attached at the hip anymore, suffering the same stresses and successes, but our friendship has evolved as our lives have. This is both comforting and encouraging.
Other moments were not great. I really struggled with how some relationships have dissipated or moved away. There were definitely some people to and from whom a hug sufficed, which was fine. Some people didn't want to see me as much as I wanted to see them, which was painful. Some people, um, are no longer interesting outside the College. Which sounds so snooty, but what I mean is: we had W&M in common, but now we have alumni-ship in common and the difference is large enough that we don't relate anymore. Still others I walked away from with the uncomfortable feeling that I will probably never see them again. That is a sad thing to realize.
This whole "adjusting" thing is Sisyphean and I have been frustrated. Hence, my Homecoming fears. I'm still working on where I'm going from here and these moments are a big part of that. Plus, it's just a weird place to be in general for WM's 09 class, so it's easy to feel a little lost and alone. This being said, I'm surprised at how well we can relate and relieved that we do. I'm thankful my friends share the same sentiments while remaining so supportive and optimistic, and ultimately I did enjoy taking those first steps to new off-campus friendships. It means a lot that the people I was closest with then made time to be with me now, asked about my life and answered my own questions about theirs, and ensured we'll be together in the future somehow (be it visiting or traveling or virtual LOST parties, baby). We are still close and will make it work as best we can, which I suppose is how adults make friendships work in the real world.
Plus: you guys are super hot and I'm stoked to have such sexy people in my life. Makes me feel sunny on the inside.
So ultimately, thanks for the weekend you guys. Here's to new challenges and unexpected contented-ness-es.
The time feels right for a
CHEESE-TASTIC PHOTO OP MOMENT
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