evolution

I love the new conversations between now-alumni. Having lunch with fellow `09ers is a totally different experience than having lunch in April, and I seriously can't get enough.

Here's the thing: Pre-graduation, it was taboo to ask what people wanted out of life, where they wanted to go, and the steps they were going to take to get those things. The few answers so often had a dreamlike quality: people had a vague idea of what they wanted, but no concrete plans or ideas. True, I wanted to answer those questions least of anyone: I had big-city, starving-artist dreams and that's as far as I got. The hazy future beyond idealized W&M days was best left unexplored because, seriously, let's just go to the Leafe instead. It's Cocktail Night.

Today (and yesterday, and last week), the conversation naturally evolved from "How has your summer been?" to "Where do you want to be/see yourself?" What made me happiest was these are the same questions asked in April, but now they are so easily asked and answered. Even the answer "I don't know" is supported with genuine discussion of the need to find something that's "right" and the refusal to settle for anything less than what will bring happiness. Additionally, the answers aren't dreamy anymore: they're real, and answering them is not just a confirmation to others but a confirmation to ourselves. Scary. Still, there's this beautiful acceptance that we're the same people who descended on W&M's campus four years ago, but just as we were all different people then, we're different now and headed for different things.

We look to and celebrate each other's decisions and fears by asking and answering. Best, when we don't know what the next day will bring the conversation becomes even more inspiring. The answers become affirmations of the need to follow our hearts and make decisive calls that fulfill our deepest needs. Job titles, money, location ... these things are important, but just as necessary are opportunities for personal growth, a sense of making a difference, and feeling inspired by our work. This makes the choices we have so much more meaningful and put more weight on our every step.

Peter said it best, though I'll paraphrase here:

"No one handed us jobs after college, or told us what to do and where to go. So, we have an opportunity to set aside the status quo and really assess what we want, then make decisive choices and paths for getting there. This is a unique moment in history, and our generation has an unprecedented opportunity to establish a new idea of 'success' and 'fulfillment.'"

Well, that's half Peter and half me. But you get the idea: there is no path. There is no bar marked "IF YOU CAN READ THIS YOU ARE A SUCCESS." Rather, every single step you take creates the path, and every day you feel full and happy is a success.

Guys. Make the most of every moment you are given to create that path. You have to: we don't have rules and opportunities like previous graduating classes and generations have had. Generation Y every day is dealing with an economic collapse, huge instability of our political systems, an uncertain definition of what the US is or will be in the future...

But think about it: we were given such a massive gift. There are NO RULES, you guys! We have the opportunity to redefine who we are and want to be. Thus: you can do whatever you want, however you want to, and create for yourself the most satisfying, fulfilling, and beautiful life you could have dreamed of. It's scary because it's all you and no one can tell you what's next -- but by that same token, no one can tell you what's NOT coming next, either.

But really it's not that scary, because you've already done it: everything you have right now you worked for. You created yourself, you created your opportunities, you created your dreams. There are no maps to your future -- there is just you, and a shaky deep breath, and that terrifying and empowering moment you take that leap off into the great unknown and let the world give you back what you've worked so hard toward.

Do it you guys. You deserve it.

Invite me to your blog when you get started so I can live vicariously through your wildest dreams.