it's like ComicCon, but for lit students. and i will never tire of calling it that.

The Sched.

Tuesday
8pm: Played a real life Virginian for a WHOLE WEEK.  Cheers to warm weather, sweet Southern people, and a whole lotta family.

Sunday
7am: Hugged my favorite palm tree for the last time.
4pm: Got stuck in the 30th Street L turnstile.  People laughed instead of helped. Humiliating lesson learned.
6pm: Grad student reunion happy hour downtown!
7pm: My first MLA panel, 'bout robots.

Monday
8am - 3pm: Convened. HARD.
3pm-bedtime: Napped by accident. Did MLA things. Napped again.
11pm: Unpacked MLA things. Pretty sure I made back my registration fees in free books and tote bags.  Hello, next year's presents.

Tuesday
8a: Convening.  So. Much. Convening.
1pm: First drag sighting, Marriott Grad Lounge. Felt wretchedly dowdy in my sneakers, jeans, and button-down.  Sank further and further into my chair as the young German man in fierce zebra coat, high-heeled boots, and immaculate red wig discussed identity theory with an MLA delegate. 
[Note to self: be more fierce.]
3p: Sad moment in the Scottish Writing booth: totes have disappeared. Sorry, Mom.

Wednesday
8a: Too. Tired. To. Function.
9a: Mobbed the Exhibitor for almost-free-they're-so-discounted new books!
10.30a: Slunk back into the grad lounge with armfuls of fought-over-and-won paperbacks.  Still panting.  Bleeding from the right cheekbone.  Victorious.  People stare.
11a: Beth to the rescue!  Bestowed with Scottish Writers tote; a thrilled Mom promises a thank you note. BETH IS AWESOME.
12noon: FINALLY. A Virginia Woolf panel!
12.15p: IT IS SO AMAZING.
1:45p: Attend final panel of the convention.  Any guesses?
-  SHOCKER: "Roundtable for Graduate Students Re: Life in the Corporate University"
- WHAT.

The lessons.

• Fact: "Neoliberal zombies are feasting on the remains of the academic institution."
• Also: "Universities have never not been corporations." Jean Howard, Columbia
• GASP.
• Woolf has the best cult following of ALL the cult followings.  Joining the Society in January!
• Jackie will elbow tottering old professors out of the way in an outright SPRINT to the Penguin table for final sales.
• Don't buy anything til the last day.  Then, buy 14 books for $31.  That is $2.21 a book.  Plus free totes.  Playa WHAT.
• Professionals in the Lit(/humanities) field love to hear themselves talk.  A lot.  They will blatantly disregard the timer, and the timekeepers should be shot.
• If the MLA selects you to panel for something, you are an authority on that something.
• BUT: Just when you feel important enough to be listened to by a panel and responsive audience of your peers, they schedule you for a room with 15 chairs, at 7:15pm, and all of three people show up.
• This is considered being "respected in the field."
• You can also tell the CFP panel anything to get selected for a panel and then present a whole different paper at conference.
• See: robot debacle of December 2009.
• The myth of the American dream does not exist for professors.  Also: they know.  They're working on it.  But who cares about professors anyway.
• Often presenters do not know how to turn on a projector, adjust to their needed input settings, or change the Powerpoint slide.  Facts.  I witnessed all of these.  This explains in horrifying detail the slow death of the Literature field.
• One presenter actually suggested (at the "rethinking the MA degree" panel) that "Information Technology" isn't important really to the field.
• I would like to take this moment to assert that I do not know how to do research outside of online journal databases.  And I can read Queen Victoria's notes on her speeches housed at Buckingham ONLINE you guys.
• It is now clear why English Lit gets such a bad rap.
• Philadelphia is cold. as. ballz.
• "Fame, Stardom, and Celebrity" means "I study celebrities for a living" possibly "because those who can't, write papers about it."
• This is not encouraging to one obsessed with fame.
• Suddenly my life as a graduate student makes a lot more sense.  Encouraging?  Maybe not.  More direction? Absolutely not.  But sense-making? ... Yep.