Because of course they should.
Friday, February 26, 2010
good to see our gridlocked House moving forward on such significant legislation
My biffles^max has this uncanny ability to solve life's little mysteries:
Thursday, February 25, 2010
i hate fish. i loathe, detest, abhor, and hate fish.
Frankenthesis.
Due March 5th. Or, 1.14wks from today.
Which is my own fault. Five weeks ago I peered at my March calendar, puzzled over conflicts, brooded over solutions, whipped off my spectacles and exclaimed
Which is my own fault. Five weeks ago I peered at my March calendar, puzzled over conflicts, brooded over solutions, whipped off my spectacles and exclaimed
NO WORRIES: I will turn in my thesis ten days early! All my problems: SOLVED. Pat on the back, you overachieving, organized, academic magician!Barking. Mad.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
let's talk about some things.
One week later, my perspective is altered. MILDLY.
February still blows. Grad school is still sadistic. My ladycrush professor still hates me, but has agreed to tear me a new one privately during office hours versus publicly during class.
It is an improvement.
TFA sent me this in the mail:
Well, helLO, 704ish pages of reading plus scored exercises plus DVD viewage to complete before June 1. That is 40+ hours of sleep I will not be enjoying to squeeze you in around my real, actual, degree-bearing work.
ADULTHOOD.
I did in fact get paid, but lo and behold, my latest paycheck is already a day late and rumored to arrive next week. My understanding is that the delay is "not really [Bosslady's] fault," as the checks are telegraphed to a printer in Bangkok, set aboard an RMS steamer on her maiden voyage round the North East Passage, and PonyExpressed from an apothecary shop in Anchorage before reaching my hot little Philadelphia hands.
As you do.
But thankfully, magically, this past weekend I attended my
I kind of desperately needed a trip and this was the one to take. Not only is Philadelphia's gray/freezing/dismal February grating my nerves, but I am snowed under with work and there is no end in sight.
Grad school. It will eat your face.
So I bought a ticket to the warm/sunny/happy subtropics in December and have been literally counting the days to First Ever Wedding Bonanza since. Just imagine: the last time I had crawfish étoufée was in November, you guys. NOVEMBER.
And! this wedding fell one week post-Mardi Gras and two weeks post-NoLaSaints SuperBowl Fantastical Miracle of the Century. Yes: this wedding was EXACTLY that awesome.
I do apologize for the awkwardness of the pictures [we were on the second floor of the jazz hall (um, this wedding was in a jazz hall. HOW COOL IS THAT)], but a few gems include:
This New-Orleanian performance art piece. (Like everything else Louisianan,) New Orleans boasts its own wedding culture. This is a brass-band-led "second line" (which according my research derives from also-NoLa-specific funeral processions. Circle of life?).
And this live brass band. Note the second line getting the party started on the right.
Live music. Finger foods of outrageous deliciousness. Open bar.
WEDDING. CAKE.
Absolutely worth jet lag, zero sleep, and falling drastically behind on my (thesis) (papers) (reading) (life) work.
Vacations taken irresponsibly in the middle of the semester: RECOMMENDED.
February still blows. Grad school is still sadistic. My ladycrush professor still hates me, but has agreed to tear me a new one privately during office hours versus publicly during class.
It is an improvement.
TFA sent me this in the mail:
I'm sorry, I should be clearer:
ADULTHOOD.
I did in fact get paid, but lo and behold, my latest paycheck is already a day late and rumored to arrive next week. My understanding is that the delay is "not really [Bosslady's] fault," as the checks are telegraphed to a printer in Bangkok, set aboard an RMS steamer on her maiden voyage round the North East Passage, and PonyExpressed from an apothecary shop in Anchorage before reaching my hot little Philadelphia hands.
As you do.
But thankfully, magically, this past weekend I attended my
FIRST!
WEDDING!
EVER!
and hot golly was it a beaut. As of Operation: NoLa Wedding, Richard has officially doubled his number of awesome cousins and it was THE BEST OF TIMES you guys.EVER!
I kind of desperately needed a trip and this was the one to take. Not only is Philadelphia's gray/freezing/dismal February grating my nerves, but I am snowed under with work and there is no end in sight.
Grad school. It will eat your face.
So I bought a ticket to the warm/sunny/happy subtropics in December and have been literally counting the days to First Ever Wedding Bonanza since. Just imagine: the last time I had crawfish étoufée was in November, you guys. NOVEMBER.
And! this wedding fell one week post-Mardi Gras and two weeks post-NoLaSaints SuperBowl Fantastical Miracle of the Century. Yes: this wedding was EXACTLY that awesome.
I do apologize for the awkwardness of the pictures [we were on the second floor of the jazz hall (um, this wedding was in a jazz hall. HOW COOL IS THAT)], but a few gems include:
This jazz hall. It had all kinds of a major tree growing right through the middle. Wicked awesome.
This New-Orleanian performance art piece. (Like everything else Louisianan,) New Orleans boasts its own wedding culture. This is a brass-band-led "second line" (which according my research derives from also-NoLa-specific funeral processions. Circle of life?).
And this live brass band. Note the second line getting the party started on the right.
Live music. Finger foods of outrageous deliciousness. Open bar.
WEDDING. CAKE.
Absolutely worth jet lag, zero sleep, and falling drastically behind on my (thesis) (papers) (reading) (life) work.
Vacations taken irresponsibly in the middle of the semester: RECOMMENDED.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
DRAMZ.
Grad school hates me. My job hates me. Philly weather hates me.
FEBRUARY IS THE WORST.
You guys, it is getting challenging over here. I pride myself on my ability to overcome adverse conditions for the sheer joy of rubbing it in peep's faces but come on. This is madness.
My professor I have a ladycrush on who is also my advisor can't stand reading what I write. This would be deal-with-able if I attempted to write anything outside critical analysis BUT I DID NOT.
This is my specialty. This is what I was accepted into grad school for doing well.
I AM PRETTY OKAY AT THIS.
Today I learned I don't know how to use words. ENGLISH WORDS.
Prof: "Words have to have meaning when you use them. Even in a critical paper. This is just ridiculous."
ZING.
Further, today I draw the meteorological line. I do not ever want to use the words "snow," "perilous life-threatening conditions," "ice," "AN potato," "blizzard," "low of 17 degrees," "snowshovel," or "-pocalypse" ever again forever.
I am happy to hate you BACK, Philadelphia, but fair warning: my rage is incalculable and I hold grudges for LIFE.
AND for the love of all that is holy on this Mendeleevian Earth. You guys.
I work. At a job. I computerize data and manage inventory and learn Quickbooks and construct mail merges. I do this in exchange for an agreed-upon wage per hour of my blood, sweat, and tears and that, babiez, does not equal "GOLDHEARTED VOLUNTEERISM."
Bosslady was hoping I just didn't notice that I wasn't getting paid. Which would be LOLZ^max if she didn't now owe me 6 weeks of paychecks and a cheery pat on the back.
I swear I will steal smoothies in blind, ruthless revenge. I swear I will.
Thus, in honor of both Mardi Gras and Winter Games 2010, I leave you with this for your Tuesday evening:
Drink if/when:
- An athlete eats ice
- An athlete lands a triple/quad (if that's what the big terrifying jumps are)
- An athlete's costume/uniform makes you uncomfortable
- An athlete dislocates something AND keeps skating
- A commentator waxes nostalgic about "dreams coming true"
- A commentator uses the phrase "the future of figure skating" re: an athlete/skill/musical selection
Finish your drink if/when:
- A wardrobe malfunction halts the program
- An injury halts the program
- Team USA takes home a gold medal
- A Zamboni gets air time
FEBRUARY IS THE WORST.
You guys, it is getting challenging over here. I pride myself on my ability to overcome adverse conditions for the sheer joy of rubbing it in peep's faces but come on. This is madness.
My professor I have a ladycrush on who is also my advisor can't stand reading what I write. This would be deal-with-able if I attempted to write anything outside critical analysis BUT I DID NOT.
This is my specialty. This is what I was accepted into grad school for doing well.
I AM PRETTY OKAY AT THIS.
Today I learned I don't know how to use words. ENGLISH WORDS.
Prof: "Words have to have meaning when you use them. Even in a critical paper. This is just ridiculous."
ZING.
Further, today I draw the meteorological line. I do not ever want to use the words "snow," "perilous life-threatening conditions," "ice," "AN potato," "blizzard," "low of 17 degrees," "snowshovel," or "-pocalypse" ever again forever.
I am happy to hate you BACK, Philadelphia, but fair warning: my rage is incalculable and I hold grudges for LIFE.
AND for the love of all that is holy on this Mendeleevian Earth. You guys.
I work. At a job. I computerize data and manage inventory and learn Quickbooks and construct mail merges. I do this in exchange for an agreed-upon wage per hour of my blood, sweat, and tears and that, babiez, does not equal "GOLDHEARTED VOLUNTEERISM."
Bosslady was hoping I just didn't notice that I wasn't getting paid. Which would be LOLZ^max if she didn't now owe me 6 weeks of paychecks and a cheery pat on the back.
I swear I will steal smoothies in blind, ruthless revenge. I swear I will.
Thus, in honor of both Mardi Gras and Winter Games 2010, I leave you with this for your Tuesday evening:
AN OLYMPIC DRINKING GAME
I am so thankful tonight is men's figure skating. Drink if/when:
- An athlete eats ice
- An athlete lands a triple/quad (if that's what the big terrifying jumps are)
- An athlete's costume/uniform makes you uncomfortable
- An athlete dislocates something AND keeps skating
- A commentator waxes nostalgic about "dreams coming true"- A commentator uses the phrase "the future of figure skating" re: an athlete/skill/musical selection
Finish your drink if/when:
- A wardrobe malfunction halts the program
- An injury halts the program
- Team USA takes home a gold medal
- A Zamboni gets air time
Friday, February 12, 2010
first time i have EVER had trouble distinguishing christine in a parking lot.
I drafted a good six blog posts during the Endless Whiteout Days of Pandemonium and am pretty proud of myself for posting not a one! The cabin fever was righteous you guys.
The blog posts were CRACKED OUT.
And because I love you most, the real gems are reproduced below. Happy Friday!
- Feb. 10, 2010 3:30p :
It seems being from the South gives me a snow day advantage. By this I mean: people are genuinely concerned that the city is officially in shut-down mode, while I comfortably maintain "That is what you DO when it snows." Duh, you guys. You panic, frantically attack your local grocer's nonperishable stockpiles, lock down a Snuggie, and try not to die.
And yet JParty specifically notes:
The North is so helplessly backward. Poor things.
- Feb 10, 2010 6pm :
Favorite SnowNiño moments:
Temple is closed again tomorrow, which is making locals uneasy. I suppose I should really be concerned that the usually-nonplussed local population is legitimately worried about the SOTPhiladelphiaU, but it's hard to be nervous when there is such a great bottle of wine sitting on my counter right now WHOOPS
Feb. 11, 2010 8am :
Captain's log, day two week two -- The second day dawns eerie and sterile. The building itself is braced for further horror. Human life is as yet undetermined.
SnowNiño has spared none mercy.
Noon :
Work has decided it is my responsibility to keep the business afloat during Enraged SnowGod Tantrum Week and thus here I am, rocking the front desk, singlehandedly managing a small business with my cup of coffee, stack of papers to file, and O magazine from 2007. Turns out you should invest that daily latté budget in real estate, as land pretty consistently appreciates in value you guys.
I bet I would be awesome at corporate America.
Feb 12, 2010 2:30pm :
- Least favorite SnowNiño moments:
The blog posts were CRACKED OUT.
And because I love you most, the real gems are reproduced below. Happy Friday!
- Feb. 10, 2010 3:30p :
It seems being from the South gives me a snow day advantage. By this I mean: people are genuinely concerned that the city is officially in shut-down mode, while I comfortably maintain "That is what you DO when it snows." Duh, you guys. You panic, frantically attack your local grocer's nonperishable stockpiles, lock down a Snuggie, and try not to die.
And yet JParty specifically notes:
But what about our RESPONSIBILITIES?
- Feb 10, 2010 6pm :
Favorite SnowNiño moments:
You can actually see the whiteout approaching.
I could be a meteorologist. I bet it's awesome to root for weather like this all the time
and then finally ACTUALLY see the Apocalypse approaching
Temple is closed again tomorrow, which is making locals uneasy. I suppose I should really be concerned that the usually-nonplussed local population is legitimately worried about the SOTPhiladelphiaU, but it's hard to be nervous when there is such a great bottle of wine sitting on my counter right now WHOOPS
Feb. 11, 2010 8am :
Captain's log, day two week two -- The second day dawns eerie and sterile. The building itself is braced for further horror. Human life is as yet undetermined.
SnowNiño has spared none mercy.
Noon :
Work has decided it is my responsibility to keep the business afloat during Enraged SnowGod Tantrum Week and thus here I am, rocking the front desk, singlehandedly managing a small business with my cup of coffee, stack of papers to file, and O magazine from 2007. Turns out you should invest that daily latté budget in real estate, as land pretty consistently appreciates in value you guys.
I bet I would be awesome at corporate America.
Feb 12, 2010 2:30pm :
- Least favorite SnowNiño moments:
I can't decide if this is funny or tragic.
Poor Christine. She was against Philadelphia from the start.
- It strikes me that thanks to Dennis's snowshoveling machine thing and the complex's very own baby snowplow ... I will have lived through three record-setting snowcalamities without having to shovel AN single inch of snow.
Life in the ghetto you guys. It's rough, but we make do.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
the fleur-de-lis is ALSO the coat-of-arms of the french Bourbon monarcy. because of course it is!
Congratulations to a city with more hope, grit, determination, heart, [JAMBALAYA] and love than seems possible. You are the best, and we are proud of you.
"After Hurricane Katrina ravaged New Orleans, it was widely assumed that NFL free agents wouldn't want to sign with the city's NFL team. There was too much baggage, too much drama and too many question marks. [In SuperBowl XLIV,] the Saints defeated the Indianapolis Colts 31-17."
- Drew Brees makes history en route to Saints SuperBowl win (02/07/10)
"After Hurricane Katrina ravaged New Orleans, it was widely assumed that NFL free agents wouldn't want to sign with the city's NFL team. There was too much baggage, too much drama and too many question marks. [In SuperBowl XLIV,] the Saints defeated the Indianapolis Colts 31-17."
- Drew Brees makes history en route to Saints SuperBowl win (02/07/10)
Friday, February 5, 2010
it is "Snowmegeddon 2: The Reckoning" and i have AN potato in my pantry.
It is not enough that THIS is the year I choose to move 300 miles due north of my homeland to the Arctic Tundra.
View Larger Map
It is not enough that here in the Arctic tundra snow counts as "weather" and not "Act of God."
In Virginia, the barest whispered threat of flurries brings the hard axe of school, office, and government cancellations sweeping down from the heavens in a desperate scramble to KEEP PEOPLE OFF THE ROADS MY GOD IT IS SNOWING YOU GUYS!!11!!1
In Philadelphia, people make fun of your snowfear and for not having a winter hat. They expect you to carry out normal daily activities surrounded by cold white stuff. Not just go to class, either: DRIVE. PLACES. AND. BE. NORMS. And then talk about how "pretty" that cold white stuff is.
But learning to live in such a foreign environment is not enough.
NOR is it enough that The Snow Gods That Be deemed this December
But THIS YEAR, the year of my great big Northern adventure, WILL be the year that record-breaking blizzard conditions ravage the MidAtlantic.
TWICE.
Two times.
Because of course it will.
For the record, you guys, I blame me. I blame my own blasphemous snide comments and utter refusal to accept snowliving. I blame my bitter resistance to gloves, knitted hats, and winterizing Christine (I am SO SORRY CHRISTINE).
Please show mercy, Snow Gods, and let THIS be enough. May this and this alone be the final Snowpocalypse (til I can get myself and Christine down to the subtropics in May and then WHO CARES what monsterblizzards the MidAtlantic suffers
NOT ME)
View Larger Map
It is not enough that here in the Arctic tundra snow counts as "weather" and not "Act of God."
In Virginia, the barest whispered threat of flurries brings the hard axe of school, office, and government cancellations sweeping down from the heavens in a desperate scramble to KEEP PEOPLE OFF THE ROADS MY GOD IT IS SNOWING YOU GUYS!!11!!1
In Philadelphia, people make fun of your snowfear and for not having a winter hat. They expect you to carry out normal daily activities surrounded by cold white stuff. Not just go to class, either: DRIVE. PLACES. AND. BE. NORMS. And then talk about how "pretty" that cold white stuff is.
But learning to live in such a foreign environment is not enough.
NOR is it enough that The Snow Gods That Be deemed this December
The December That Preempted The End of Days With Crushing Snow.
In Czech: "snow calamity." In Anne-eurism: "OH MY GOD."But THIS YEAR, the year of my great big Northern adventure, WILL be the year that record-breaking blizzard conditions ravage the MidAtlantic.
TWICE.
Two times.
Because of course it will.
For the record, you guys, I blame me. I blame my own blasphemous snide comments and utter refusal to accept snowliving. I blame my bitter resistance to gloves, knitted hats, and winterizing Christine (I am SO SORRY CHRISTINE).
Please show mercy, Snow Gods, and let THIS be enough. May this and this alone be the final Snowpocalypse (til I can get myself and Christine down to the subtropics in May and then WHO CARES what monsterblizzards the MidAtlantic suffers
NOT ME)
Monday, February 1, 2010
for i am a lazy blogger.
It turns out the 40 hours I spend a week in the library do not lend themselves to hilarious and humiliating blog posts. By which I mean, "I can't top falling off the stacks."
I'm sorry for my lazy blogging, you guys. But here's a rapid-fire gift: MANY and sometimes awkward things I hope you enjoy reading.
- Turns out this "teacher" thing is way harder and way more expensive than advertised. I don't even want to tell you
A) how much money I have handed over to ETS in exchange for four hours of content testing, OR
B) what my once-idyllic spring break now looks like.
Sometimes I mantra "It's not about the destination, it's about the JOURNEY." Right? Of course it is.
Then in the back of my mind my little skeptic goes "BUT WHAT IF. What if this journey rounds the bend and it's nothing but kindergartners for miles. Sticky fingered, snotting, crying, screaming, glue-eating kindergarteners."
For MILES. What shoes do you even wear.
- I discovered something confusing about myself this weekend: this Republican. He does things to me. Politically.
I feel dirty.
- My faculty adviser is kind of a hero of mine. I found out last week she will cut you.
"This is not a master's thesis. Rewrite this and don't bring it back to me until it's a thesis. Seriously, if you don't understand this [obscure grammar rule] go back to school, I mean REALLY."
Roger THAT. Grad school, you guys. It's the best.
So, um, that's what stands between me and graduating. That and the French fluency exam of lore this Friday.
- The Power Squad saw this last week, but I wanted to share latest news with you guys:
This suggestion begs more questions than it answers.
- I suspect this might be offensive, but I have no desire to see Avatar. Whatsoever.
Today's inspirational quote:
“If any vegans came over for dinner, I could whip them up a salad, then explain my philosophy on being a carnivore: If God had not intended for us to eat animals, how come He made them out of meat?”
- Sarah Palin, Going Rogue
I'm sorry for my lazy blogging, you guys. But here's a rapid-fire gift: MANY and sometimes awkward things I hope you enjoy reading.
- Turns out this "teacher" thing is way harder and way more expensive than advertised. I don't even want to tell you
A) how much money I have handed over to ETS in exchange for four hours of content testing, OR
B) what my once-idyllic spring break now looks like.
Sometimes I mantra "It's not about the destination, it's about the JOURNEY." Right? Of course it is.
Then in the back of my mind my little skeptic goes "BUT WHAT IF. What if this journey rounds the bend and it's nothing but kindergartners for miles. Sticky fingered, snotting, crying, screaming, glue-eating kindergarteners."
For MILES. What shoes do you even wear.
- I discovered something confusing about myself this weekend: this Republican. He does things to me. Politically.
I feel dirty.
- My faculty adviser is kind of a hero of mine. I found out last week she will cut you.
"This is not a master's thesis. Rewrite this and don't bring it back to me until it's a thesis. Seriously, if you don't understand this [obscure grammar rule] go back to school, I mean REALLY."
Roger THAT. Grad school, you guys. It's the best.
So, um, that's what stands between me and graduating. That and the French fluency exam of lore this Friday.
- The Power Squad saw this last week, but I wanted to share latest news with you guys:
- Is this a real dude?
- Probably not a real dude. Right?
- I FB-searched to find out if it is a real name. Because if it is on FB, it is (probably) real.
- IT IS A REAL NAME. People have this name.
- Is it like Norwegian for "pancake"? Dutch for "sweater"?
- I checked my IKEA catalog and couldn't find it so ... not Finnish.
- Facebook has suggested I should be friends with him.
- What exactly about my profile screams I need "Nütsac" in my friends list? It needs immediate rectifying.
- He was born in 1919. Strike 1 for "real person" argument.
- One of our mutual friends is Randall P. Earlock. Um, strike 2?
- They've spoken. Strikes three and four.
- I feel cheated.
- I suspect this might be offensive, but I have no desire to see Avatar. Whatsoever.
Today's inspirational quote:
“If any vegans came over for dinner, I could whip them up a salad, then explain my philosophy on being a carnivore: If God had not intended for us to eat animals, how come He made them out of meat?”
- Sarah Palin, Going Rogue
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