DRAMZ.

Grad school hates me. My job hates me. Philly weather hates me.

FEBRUARY IS THE WORST.

You guys, it is getting challenging over here.  I pride myself on my ability to overcome adverse conditions for the sheer joy of rubbing it in peep's faces but come on.   This is madness.

My professor I have a ladycrush on who is also my advisor can't stand reading what I write. This would be deal-with-able if I attempted to write anything outside critical analysis BUT I DID NOT.
This is my specialty. This is what I was accepted into grad school for doing well.
I AM PRETTY OKAY AT THIS.

Today I learned I don't know how to use words.  ENGLISH WORDS.
Prof: "Words have to have meaning when you use them. Even in a critical paper. This is just ridiculous."
ZING.

Further, today I draw the meteorological line. I do not ever want to use the words "snow," "perilous life-threatening conditions," "ice," "AN potato," "blizzard," "low of 17 degrees," "snowshovel," or "-pocalypse" ever again forever.
I am happy to hate you BACK, Philadelphia, but fair warning: my rage is incalculable and I hold grudges for LIFE.

AND for the love of all that is holy on this Mendeleevian Earth.  You guys.
I work. At a job.  I computerize data and manage inventory and learn Quickbooks and construct mail merges.  I do this in exchange for an agreed-upon wage per hour of my blood, sweat, and tears and that, babiez, does not equal "GOLDHEARTED VOLUNTEERISM." 
Bosslady was hoping I just didn't notice that I wasn't getting paid. Which would be LOLZ^max if she didn't now owe me 6 weeks of paychecks and a cheery pat on the back.

I swear I will steal smoothies in blind, ruthless revenge.  I swear I will.

Thus, in honor of both Mardi Gras and Winter Games 2010, I leave you with this for your Tuesday evening:

AN OLYMPIC DRINKING GAME

I am so thankful tonight is men's figure skating.

Drink if/when:
- An athlete eats ice
- An athlete lands a triple/quad (if that's what the big terrifying jumps are)
- An athlete's costume/uniform makes you uncomfortable
- An athlete dislocates something AND keeps skating
- A commentator waxes nostalgic about "dreams coming true"
- A commentator uses the phrase "the future of figure skating" re: an athlete/skill/musical selection

Finish your drink if/when:
- A wardrobe malfunction halts the program
- An injury halts the program
- Team USA takes home a gold medal
- A Zamboni gets air time