Wednesday, December 16, 2009

my laptop's "n" key is significantly more faded than other keys. i don't think i really use it more than other keys. is it less hardy than other keys ...?

I have turned in my last papers, returned my last 40 books to the library, and celebrated at a TUEGS bonanza. VICTORY.
Further, it has been precisely four months since my traumatic move to Philadelphia.  I have lived in Pennsylvania for 123 days (and have yet to meet into Steve Carrell, weirdly).
I must have learned something. Behold, the lessons ye are about to receive, ever-Constant Reader.

A Leadership Self-Assessment, found on a random business website 
(inspired by Diana) Edited by me.
  • [Graduate Student] Attributes ...
    • Do I view problems as opportunities?
      • The major problems this semester: overloading on credits. No financial aid (thanks, economy!). Living by myself in a huge, terrifying city.  Tackling graduate school alone.  Sudden panic at the prospect of joblessness next year.  Constant self-doubt buffeted by incessant defense of life plan.  
        • Problems? Yes.  But are they ... opportunities?
      • FO SHO!: everyone loves a good rags-to-riches story.  This is America!  Land of probl delusions of opportunities!
    • Am I a priority setter?
      • If by "priority" you mean "learn to budget like a crazy-person," then maybe.  If you mean "cram frantic paper-writing/speed-reading around bouts of drinking and graduate-student tomfoolery" then yes.
    • Am I courageous?
      • I prefer "obstinate."
    • Am I a critical/creative thinker?
      • I'd rather not relive V's class here; this is a happy place.
      • But in the spring I am taking a class with Rachel DuPlessis on "Virginia Woolf: Poetic Prose;" the course requirements are a 15-page critical paper on writing (?) and a 15-page creative essay (!)
        • So let's hope together, you guys.
    • What is my tolerance for ambiguity?
      • You mean V's emails? Or Miller's assignments? Or O'Hara's classes? Or J's "check mark" grading system?
        • ZERO. I HAVE A ZERO TOLERANCE POLICY.
    • Do I have a positive attitude towards change?
  • [Graduate Student] Skills ...
    • Do I debate, enunciate, and clarify my values and beliefs?
      • According to V: absolutely not. According to O: absolutely.
        • Only my GPA will tell.
      • I do so love to/am great at gossip, so if that counts.  Especially about people, things, places, and politics. Also people in politics.
    • Do I ask the big-picture questions, including "what if?"
      • What if we never landed on the moon?
      • What if the Manhattan Project had failed?
      • What if there's life in a neighboring solar system, and we find it?
      • What if the Internet collapsed tomorrow? 
      • What if everyone dedicated ten hours a year to community service?
      • What if the poverty/affluence gap began shrinking?
      • What if my future-bestselling-series is adapted to a four-movie-saga. I'm sorry, when it is.
    • Do I encourage dreaming and thinking the unthinkable?
      • In my head I live on the LOST island.  Next please.
    • Can I align the budget, planning, policies and instructional programs with the district goals and vision?
      • That was the rabid, delusional thought behind "I'll do it in a year! A YEAR!"
      • So maybe.  Yes if on January 21 I am handed a salaried, benis-full 24-month contract offer.
        • And if I pass the French exam.  Fluency, baby.
    • Do I practice and plan conscious abandonment? 
      • What the hell is that?
      • "Business" seriously makes no sense.
  • [Graduate Student] Knowledge ...
    • Do I know board roles and responsibilities in planning and implementing plans?
      • As I comprise the board, this answer is pretty clear:
        • NO.  I am making this up as I go along.
          • WOOO PARTY
    • Do I know the board and district vision, beliefs, and mission? 
      • Sometimes.  People think it's cute that I have dreams and starry eyes and "want to help people," which is occasionally in itself enough to lose confidence.
      • But then I remember those people can suck it. For I am AWESOME.  (I'm looking at YOU, SENSIBLENESS)
  • What trait are you trying to make more descriptive of you?
    • Listen, CorpAmer.  Employ English majors to clean up your basic communication skillz.  It's sad for you plus we need jobs.
    • I choose confident.  This, I think, has been the tenuous theme of Fall 09.  I waffle between being giddily excited about my life to utterly devastated about the choices I've made
      • Thus I'd like to be much more confident.
    • Also "sexy."  And "Jim Halpert's life coach."
      • I'm planning a trip to Scranton over winter break and you should come. I need help getting just the right picture to Photoshop myself into Dunder Mifflin's family/office park.
      • You guys, you can't live in Pennsylvania and NOT go to Scranton. Don't look at me like that.
Cheers to life, love, and blogging, you guys.  I miss you.

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